After over a year away, i have finally been re-united with Dark Crusade. Oh! my love, you have returned back to the nest from whence you flew! So naturally i slaughtered my best bull for the feast and prepared to welcome back the prodigal son. Now a point i have to make here is that beneath this cool, sexual, engimatic, charismatic, magnetic, dynamic and ‘insert something here’-nic personality lies and uber-geek. Seriously, i’m like the Hulk, Jekyl and Mr. Hide, getting drunk and dancing to D&B one night, Warhammer the next. Which brings me to my point, i’m freaking obsessed with Warhammer, always have been, always will be. It began back in the early 90′s with the release of Bretonnians, my brothers got me into it, my eldest bro collected Chaos and the middle bro collected Undead and later High Elves, and i loved every second of it. Unfortunetly as time went on my brothers and my friends grew away from the hobby, leaving me on my todd with no opponents and so the old figures were placed away in the garage and i was forced to move on with my life. Untill, that is DOW was released.
Dawn of War was epic, command and conquer on steroids is probs the best way to describe it, and oh, how i played that game untill sadly my laptop crashed and burnt. All my files lost i returned back to my remaining copy of Dark Crusade (i was forced to sell many games and my entire Audrey Hepburn collection to CEX during a particular tight summer where i was forced to drink 40p cider) just to discover, lo and behold, no disk. My frown firmly fixed in place i returned back to the wilds of Southampton, to the house i used to live in to ask my friends for my game back. Anarchy ensued. What with all 4 of us moving out at roughly the same time and our constant lending no-one knew what had gone where and disk was lost to the sands of time where it was forgotten, untill a young Hobbit…. no wait that was my ring. Little bastard melted it and all because i wanted unite all the rings (which i made i might add), so they wouldn’t be lonely. No the Disk continues to elude me, however a friend of mine owns a copy and since you dont need the actual disk to play the game once it’s installed he was quite happy to lend it to me and so our online batlles began. Except for one thing, one shocking, surprising and slightly embarrising thing.
I’ve gotten shit.
No longer do my armies march boldly forward (partly becuase with the original games you can only play Tau and Necrons online and Tau dont move, just shoot things from a ridiculous distance, and Necrons dont march, more just stumble forward the slow gits) conqueiring all in their path, no longer do i hear the sound of Eldar weeping (well maybe a little, they are quite emo afterall), instead everything just dies, and by everything, i mean everything belonging to me. So now all other projects have been pushed aside (apart from my Skaven and Space Wolves naturally) no Hack, no Avatar, no console gaming, no going to work (well ok, i can’t push that one aside, capatilist bastards) all that is left is training. Practice may not may make perfect but by God you’ll have trouble believing it. Carpe Diem! Viva la resistance! Purge the living! For the greater good!
